Make Like MK&A @ MFA

Art Museums have always been a passion of mine, but only because I once saw Ashley Olsen at NYC’s MOMA.

The Olsen Twins are my guilty pleasure, you see. In my heart of hearts, I know they’re vain, selfish, and worst of all, dumb; I shouldn’t like them, let alone love them. It’s true that most of society refers to the fur-wearing/PETA-infuriating pair as “Hairy-Kate and Trashley, The Trollsen Twins.” It’s also true that their taste in evening wear is similar to that of a haughty 90-year-old.

But my love for MK&A is completely unconditional. I simply cannot help myself, even after reading articles with words as spiteful as their accompanying illustrations:

I know, they seem pretty terrible, but I dare you to watch this video and not immediatly fall in love with oh-so-chill Mary-Kate, in all her glory:

See? Don’t even try to tell me you’re not intrigued by her ridiculousness. Now that you understand the beauty of MK&A, I’m sure you can imagine my excitement when I saw Ashley IRL (I learned that this means ‘In Real Life’ from the Help Delete Online Predators commercial…is it creepy that I now use the lingo on a daily basis?). I was making my way down an extremely crowded staircase, and she was making her way up it. I brushed past her in the middle, but it didn’t hit me until I’d reached the bottom. I grabbed my mom.

“Mom!” I shouted uncontrollably, my voice followed by at least four echoes.

About twenty people turned and gave me a dirty look.

“Yes, honey?” my mom replied, but with a face that said, “What in God’s name was I thinking when I decided to bring you here?”

“That’s Ashley Olsen,” I said, desperately trying to contain my excitement.

“No it’s not! Her butt’s bigger than Ashley’s!” screamed my mom. She had already started sprinting up the stairs to get a better look.

We raced through the first three rooms, hurdling sculptures and small children, to catch up with Ash. Her boyfriend had caught onto the fact that she was being followed by lunatics, and had been hurrying her along. She was helpless now, though; my mom and I circled her with our knees bent and arms alert, as if in the midst of a fierce game of dodgeball. Terrified, Ashley looked back and forth at the two of us.

“It’s really her!” I called from my side of Ashley.

“I know!” My mom yelled back from her side.

We had no idea what to do next. I awkwardly cleared my throat. My mom darted over. And we ran off.

Ever since then, I’ve been an Art Museum junkie, secretly on the look-out for an Olsen each time. In the past, I typically judged a piece of artwork based on the technical skills required to copy it; if I could do it, then it wasn’t good.

Now, though, I’ve learned to appreciate painting as a true art form. Like a great song, a great painting should move you, but for no apparent reason. Our favorite songs are not our favorites just because of their lyrics; similarly, our favorite paintings should not be our favorites just because of their subject matter. In fact, my absolute favorite artists (Pollock and Rothko) are abstract expressionists, and aim to capture energy (not tangible objects) on canvas. Another temptation I’ve learned to resist is searching for meaning in the work, and analyzing which emotions the artist is trying to portray. Like music, art is largely subjective. It’s meant to evoke a distinct feeling in you, a feeling completely different from anyone else’s.

Keep all this in mind, and make your way to MFA. I’ll be honest; you probs won’t see an Olsen, or any celeb for that matter. However, you might find it to be a refreshingly pleasant experience. And guess what? This activity, unlike your usual favorites, has no potential of giving you a hangover or getting you preggers. Pretty impressive.

*Note: Are you currently entertaining the wonderfully romantic notion that you could meet a cute guy @ MFA? In an act of fate, you’ll both be inexplicably drawn to the same piece? Give it up. If a boy is alone at MFA, he’s probably deranged.

Rothko, 1968

P.S. Go to my “About Me” section (there is a link on the right, under “Top Posts”) and view the new video I added.

~ by Brittany Fischer on April 1, 2008.